I sometimes hate those times when you have to dream to make yourself feel better.
I've been so wanting to start my year out on a good note. But some things really just don't want to cooperate.
Work has been hectic, can't afford a day of rest. Working on three(!) separate building projects is a real juggling act. But I'm not really complaining... much. It's still work, and I'm happy I have it. I still get that feeling of satisfaction that I am contributing something good still. But work still has its share of villains, people who don't really get with the program, people who still think that they know what they're talking about but in actual fact they haven't the slightest clue on what should be done. All talk but are chicken-$#!^ to put their money where their mouth is. Most of the people who kiss ass just to get around in the world are more often than not the loudest, grandstanding lot. The thought of these people make me sick, more often giving me pause for thought to protect myself than fall victim and be used as a means to elevate themselves further.
Talked to her last night. It's been a year of waiting, only to know that all is still lost a year ago. I felt betrayed. No matter what mess she claims she's in, I don't believe that shutting yourself from the world is the solution. I refuse to believe I've lost my Sunshine forever and I refuse to think that the time spent together or waiting was a total waste.
Family's going through a rough period, financially. We do what we can. Money goes out faster than it comes in. Not that we're going hungry or anything, just a few sacrifices have to be made here and there for a couple of months. It's frustrating how some of my plans (no matter how shallow or life changing they may be) are put on indefinite hold because of it.
.....
I refuse to give up hope.
